Thursday, January 27, 2011

Safety First



"Hey!" said Mrs. Johnston, "You could've turned!"

"Just a minute," said Mr. Johnston, his hands grasping the wheel of their Benz like his life depended on it.

Mrs. Johnston eyed the approaching traffic, waiting for her husband to make the turn out of their driveway. "There, right after that red car!"

"No, I can see another car coming after it."

"But you've got enough time, that other car is a good distance away!"

"Yes, but it's still there."

The red car passed by. "Now's your chance!"

"I can't. That other car, it's coming closer."

"But its four blocks down the road!" she said, accentuating every syllable with her arms.

"Now it's three. Then two and soon it will be right here in front of us."

She tried to frown, but Botox prevented her. So, she blinked her eyes while pounding her fists on her thighs.

"I'm just trying to be a safe driver."

"But what's unsafe about making a turn when there's a break in traffic?"

"Anything could happen."

The car in question chugged by.

"That car could've lost its brakes and come barreling right for us. We could have been in a terrible accident. We could have been killed."

"But it didn't lose its brakes!" she said, ripping her fingers through her coif and massacring every curl.

"Well, it could have."

"Are you out of your mind?" she said, decorating the windshield with missiles of spit.

"No, it's just that safety reigns supreme when I drive this automobile."

"You're making us late for our dinner with the Millers!"

"Well, we certainly wouldn't make that dinner if we were dead, now would we?"

Tears plunged down her face, turning her mascara into long black snakes racing towards her chin.

"Charles."

"Yes?"

"The street is completely empty now. There are no cars coming towards us from either direction. Turn."

"I can't."

"Why not!" she said, grabbing his arm and shaking it.

"Because sooner or later, another car will come."

"Well of course another car will come! It's not like we have the only one on the road."

"That's right, and I don't know if the drivers of any of them have been drinking or taking drugs or anything else I don't have any control of. This is the safest way. We have to stay here. We have to wait."

"Wait for what?" she said, screeching so loudly that dogs began barking.

"The right moment when it will be safe to turn,” he said calmly patting her hand. "Now I know you're worried about our evening out. You have spent half the day getting ready for it. But, I'm sure the Millers will understand us being a little late."

"A little late?" she said, her voice a menacing snarl. "Do you realize that we would be there right now, but because of this bizarre notion of yours, we're still in our driveway?"

"Well, you could always go inside and call a cab."

"I'll do no such thing! It wouldn't look right if I did that while were you here. The neighbors would think we're quarreling."

"Then wait for the bus,” he said smiling already sure of her answer.

"Not in this outfit I won't! I look too good to be on the bus. Every derelict in the world would be asking me for change. Then I'd have to walk, and these shoes aren't comfortable for anything but sitting. Besides, I refuse to arrive alone. Appearance, Charles. Appearances."

"Then sit back and relax."

"Relax?"

"Be patient. I'll know when the moment comes."

"Well, when will that be?"

"I don't know, but at least we'll be safe. Isn't that what counts in the end?”

“I’m going inside to call the Millers,” she said.

“No, I think you’ll be safer here where I can keep an eye on you,” he said locking her door with the driver’s side lock.”

“Charles!" she said frantically trying to open her door.

“You’ll be safer this way and that’s what counts.”

“But Charles, just a minute ago you told me to go inside and call a cab…”

“I changed my mind.”

“No Charles, you’ve lost it.”

“Actually Evelyn, I think I finally found it.”

“But what happens if…”

“Hush, now dear….there’s nothing to worry about…,” he said patting her hand again.

So, they sat there until the windows of the car fogged up and everything around them turned into mist, as they waited for the time to come when everything was safe enough for them to journey down the road before them.

24 comments:

  1. Wow Rachel, this starts out so innocently fuuny and then turns out to feel chilling. Amazing work!

    I love this line: "She tried to frown, but Botox prevented her." Ha! That cracked me up! But I do hope they can either get going down the road or get out of the car soon. I'm rather worried about them.

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  2. As Deanna said, from funny to chilling! I'm wondering what he might do next and it seems that anything's possible.

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  3. Every inch is a struggle, from the relatively mundane couples-struggling at the beginning, and then where it goes. I can't remember seeing you stretch your material like this before, Rachel. Splendid experiment!

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  4. Thank you Deanna, Laura and John. This is a story I wrote a couple of years ago, that I looked at last night. I amped it up from where it was before. Changed the characters a bit, and made the husband more sinister. Before it was more of a humorous story, but it didn't work.

    Thank you for letting me know the transition worked.

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  5. Well, that's one way to get out of a boring dinner. If she'd let him take his time, maybe he wouldn't have snapped. :)

    Great transition from humor to creep-tastic. Well done!

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  6. That Botox line just summed that woman right up. Pride comes before a fall...and boy, she's fallen alright. Excellent characterisation.

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  7. Thank you Gracie and Icy. I had fun writing her actually. Notice there is zero about how the husband looks.

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  8. Rachel, I could hear the dark side of this shouting at me, but because of my sense of humour I found it absolutely hilarious, could it be that he just didn't really want to spend the evening with the Millers? :D

    PS, great pic too. :)

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  9. You know Steve, that could be it. He did seem to be enjoying watching his wife freak out, didn't he? Thanks I love that pic. It's supposed to be a parody of "American Gothic."

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  10. Very darkly comic. The laughter of this reader became stifled as it reached the end when it was psychologically dark.
    Well done.
    Adam B @revhappiness

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  11. There are people in this world who, if not for the psychological release of their artistic expression, might be truly scary individuals because of the depth of their imaginative dark sides. Thank you, Rachel, for being one.

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  12. Spit missles! Rachel, you crack me up! So I'm guessing they both died of starvation or maybe old age right there in their driveway? Sweet little piece.

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  13. Thank you Adam, Kurt and Mike. Your comments made me laugh out loud for real.

    Adam, it started out as a humor piece and then I just went for it I guess.

    Kurt, best compliment ever, then again I know where you live.

    Mike, I have no idea what happens next. I would hope that sooner or later he came to his senses, but you never know with my characters. They do seem to have weird ideas. No idea where they get that.

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  14. Bwahahahaha - that is fantastic, both funny and sinister, and a great analagy for the way some people live there life. Good one Rachel :)

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  15. LOve everything about this piece...the picture, the hilarious side and the harsh reality that this really does happen. Great piece...more please :)

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  16. What a progression you have here. I nearly snorted when I found out they were still in the driveway!

    Towards the end I was afraid that the solution Charles had finally come to involved driving out in front of bus, with no time left to escape. I'm not sure the ending you arrived at isn't more frightening.

    Excellent, excellent reading. Thank you.

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  17. Thank you brainhaze and KJM. Glad you enjoyed it.

    Brainhaze, as soon as I saw the pic I knew I had to use it for this. Love it and love the artist.

    KJM, glad you like the ending. I definitely had fun writing this one.

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  18. If you had fun writing this, I had fun reading it. I also loved learning that they were still on their driveway. Now i'm thinking that the Miller's might actually live next door or just over the road!
    Whatever he's up to, I think he might be justified. Unless of course he's waiting for a lorry.....

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  19. I don't remember inviting these people to dinner...

    A good lesson, cleverly written.

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  20. A story that caters to the existential and the absurd. love this. darkly comical and comically dark.

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  21. Thank you Lionel. This was fun to write. Think I'll take another trip down the weirdness highway sometime soon.

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  22. Living in Los Angeles, I can see a conversation exactly like this between both characters happening. I will admit that I can be impatient when it comes to driving; I think everyone can. Love the dark humor, the absurdity and the point.
    Ava

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