Pulling off
her boots and kicking each one to polar points across the floor, she sunk back
on the couch and began to devour a bowl of potato chips. There was nothing
worth her attention on the television, but between the chips and the remote,
she disappeared into the blankness of repetitive activity until sleep overtook
her.
She awoke
some hours later and stumbled into her bedroom, and sleeved herself between
sheets. Hers were not pleasant dreams, but rainbow-twisted journeys to unknown
places where she jumped from one figure, one existence, one realm to another,
without rest.
There were
no great revelations, no truths detailed in dream speak, only the sallow sheen
of ancient juxtapositions of memory; old loves, fears and wisps of forgotten
conversations, commingled into a waltz of swirling metaphors. Nonexistent languages
echoed from vested tongues until morning light broke through, leaving nothing
of the nearly targeted bull’s eye of surprise.
She had
almost grasped it. It had been that close. But now, it was time to wake up and
pull her boots back on and face the day and the many delusions which harried
her.
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you know. This reminds me how much I have truly missed reading you.
ReplyDeleteThank you girl. I need to catch up with your work as well.
DeleteI have dreams like that too...that make me feel euphoric and then I wake up and I am thinking... oh, reality again. that feeling sucks. totally get it. nice write.
ReplyDeleteThank you Lionel. I love writing about dreams, as you know. It never gets boring to explore that other world.
DeleteThe imagery here is fantastic; the adjectives in the third paragraph bring me inside the character's mind and vision. I know this id Flash, but I want more!!!! From a flashier, if you will, look, there were a couple of times where repeated articles (the) were used, and I believe the second one in each case (first and last graph) could be eliminated. I know that is only two words, but that would make it tighter. Again, love the piece, bravo for dusting off the blog and posting again, and thank you for the inspiration!
ReplyDeleteThanks Jeff. I wasn't sure about the "thes" but I'll edit them out. Tighter writing is almost always better. Thank you for the help.
DeleteI love reading your work! Your words just flow so nicely, makes me want to keep reading!
ReplyDeleteThank you Vicki, that is absolutely the best compliment ever. You're such a great friend.
DeleteShe sounds like a tortured soul -- no solace by day or night.
ReplyDeleteGood to see you back.
~jon
Thank you Jon, it's good to be back. Well tortured souls are easier to write then happy ones, at least for me. :)
DeleteOnce again, brilliant. Sis, not only do you have a very distinctive written voice, but I could actually hear you reading this story along with me.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Jeff about the "the's" and Lionel... I have these dreams, too.
My favorite image is of the boots themselves. The reality of everyday life. Heavy, clumsy, cumbersome. And also how they are sent to polar opposites of her room. Like the differences between her reality and her dream.
Once again, bro, you were the one who inspired me to write in the first place, so thank you from the bottom of my heart and a little bit of my knee.
DeleteOK, you and Jeff have convinced me. The "the's" are history.
"She had almost grasped it..."
ReplyDeleteOr, in your case, she had. Beautiful poetic language, something I remember of your prior Friday Flashes.
"... she disappeared into the blankness of repetitive activity until sleep overtook her.
She awoke some hours later and stumbled into her bedroom, and sleeved herself between sheets."
Picture perfect descriptions, the image immediate and alive in the reader's mind.
Excellent work.
Thank you Kevin, and thank you for highlighting your favorite lines for me. It's been a while, but it's great to be back. Thank you for always supporting me.
DeleteMy pleasure, Rachel. Of that, I assure you.
DeleteI love the literary, lyrical language of this. It starts with the first sentence and never releases its grip on the reader. Welcome back
ReplyDeletemarc nash
Thank you for the great comment Mark. It's great to be back.
DeleteRachel! I've missed your stories so much, and am thrilled to have the privelege to read this one, which is stunning as always.
ReplyDeleteWelcome back!
Thank you Deanna, but I so don't deserve such high praise. I'm looking forward to reading what your work again as well.
DeleteThe dreams may not be pleasant, but they sound like far more fun than the mundane awake time
ReplyDeleteThank you Maxx. Sometimes that's how it is too.
DeleteWonderfully and elegantly descriptive language, a beautiful flow to be carried along by.
ReplyDeleteHiya Rachel, it's lovely to see your eloquent work on these pages again. :)
Thank you Steve, it's great to be back. I'm a bit rusty, but it's fun to be writing again.
DeleteI'm sorry it's taken me a month to find this, Rachel. Like all of your work, this is at once graceful, bracing and emotionally muscular, a strong drink for the soul. You are so skilled at placing us plop in the center of your dream. Wonderful writing. So glad to see more of your prose.
ReplyDelete