Bottom Feeder

Seeping through sewers
A slick slimy ooze rises to the surface
By vomiting stolen words
Stirring and stewing
While proclaiming itself clean
But it is
What it is
A thing made of filth
Created in darkness and despair
Lonely
Isolated
Desperate and destructive
Poison may win
For a time;
Killing its chosen victims
With cunning trickery
But in time
It will be spewed out
Like vomit
To return where it belongs
Flushed away
In the bowels
Coating the dregs of
Humanity’s cesspool.

King Whore and Queen Need (Naga Uta)

King Whore

Draw them in with lines
Clumsily constructed verse
Weak willed women come
Dreaming your words are for them
As you cast your net
Giving what they wish to hear
Words they’ve never heard
You know this that is your ploy
Romantic revenge
Woman hater baits with love
That he never gives
In return they flock to him
Desperate and blind
He leads them with tender care
Then throws each away
Like a box of chocolates
Take a bite then spit
Each one is delectable
Swallowing his lies
Boredom comes quite easily
Time to move along
Though in truth he sits alone
Wannabe sad stud
Real women don’t flock to him
As he walks alone
But online he is a King
Clothes himself in cool
Not as strong as he may seem
Plays the crying game
When a former flame flares up
Or sits quietly
“Look how she just broke my heart!”
Nitro glycerin
Fan the fire and watch it grow
Gather sympathy
Payback is the price you pay
For philandering
Poetry misogyny
You hate love them all
Hurt them before they hurt you
Cowardly victim
Needing what you push away
You want to be loved
Pull then push each chance away
Until you are alone
Lonely wanderer of love
Crowded page and empty bed

Queen Need

Frightened helpless eyes

Seething venomed lashes blink

Pining whining heart

Beat upon this hollow drum

Painful past your tool

Purposely manipulate

Play the victim scream

Claw at others then pretend

You are innocent

On the floor you stay

Easier than standing tall

Some believe your games

See your tears of misery

Though you never cry

Pleading needing words of love

No man is enough

To fill all your emptiness

Love won’t make you whole

Do you love me? Yes I do?

Endless litany

All the love they have to give

Leaves your soul vacant

Enemies imagined lurk

You can’t trust for long

Is he cheating? You don’t know

Though he says he does

As suspicions grow

Jealousy of female friends

Now invades your thoughts

Does he love you? You don’t know

Desperate thoughts take hold

Soon self-loathing seeps through skin

Poisoning your heart

Comfort will not comfort you

Wretched woman writhe

Traps you’ve set are now your own

Webs of lies your snare

Love me love me love me love please

Nothing is enough

Pleading seething with no shame

Knowing what’s to come

Clawing hungrily you moan

Need need need need need

Weary they will walk away

As they’ve done before

You know this, that’s why you cling

Your need is too much for them

Broken battered hearts

Refuse from their lips drips cold

Hackneyed words repeat

Old material moth worn holes

Love a wretched coil

Stranglehold of their design

Vampire love suckers

Once sated they will move on

Overstuffed leeches

Bloated bilious baleful

Other hearts to break

Wait their tender bruising touch

Hamsters on a wheel go round

Loosening the Noose

I did it willingly

Climbed each step

No matter how much it hurt

Until I reached what I thought was joy
I placed it around my neck
It felt comforting
Even as it coiled around my throat
Restricting me from self
I looked at you lovingly
Trusting through dark shadows
You hadn’t tightened it yet
I suppose I sensed it was coming
But I didn’t move or
Try to take it off
I just stood there
Waiting
For you to remove it from me
Giving me lovers comfort
I looked into your eyes
Seeking something
I had once seen
Reflected back at me
The place I stood wasn’t safe
I knew it even as I waited
The foundations were never secure
The structure had been constructed
For destruction
The reality of what was beneath the surface
Peeked through the floorboards
The open maw of what was to come
Waiting
For me to take the plunge or
Find some other way down
I looked into your eyes
Waiting for your hands
To loosen the noose and
Guide me back towards safety
Love and calm
You didn’t
It was easier to remain aloof than caring
Too much of a risk
On your part to love me
I stood silently
Awaiting judgment
Tears blinding me
To what was evident
You ask me what we are
After I have given so much of my heart
Even as you’ve held back your own
The answer is clear:
We are nothing.
This noose I have accepted is nothing
Except a device designed by you
To save you from your own emptiness
You would rather have me like this
Though it causes me pain
Because I am here beside you
On this scaffold
While I am in torment
You find joy
You are nothing
I think that’s what you believe
Perpetual victim
Even as angels bless you
God’s glory isn’t enough
To rescue you from yourself
I am not enough
To make you feel whole
I am nothing
I could give you my last breaths
They wouldn’t be enough
So I take this noose from around
My throat of many colored gems
Leaving it to hang and sway
Above the dead man’s drop
Rope burns leave scars
That will not quickly heal
I do not think I will ever completely
Recover from loving you
Yet I will try
As I take this first step down and
Away from you
I have to do this
In order to survive my heart
Loving you is killing me
And I’ve been too willing to die.

The Final Slap

This is the one

After so many others
When I was sent spinning
The room rushing around me
The floor like your hands slapping as I landed
Down finally down no more.

The first time was playful
Or at least that’s how you explained it
I believed you in spite
Of my better self
Smiling through shock
Wishing the truth away

The next time I couldn’t play that game
Bloodied lip and swollen eye
Limp walking for days afterward
As you forced apologies
Through sex and tears
You pleasured yourself in my pain

Days months years
Uneasy calm followed by howling reprimand
Your hands
I pulled away from gentleness
Like a beaten down dog
Afraid to look up from below

I look up now
Knowing this is the last time
I will ever do this
You stand above me ready
Puffing your need to send me back down
I inhale the mud from your shoes and smile

Clenched fist and quivering lips
You fear me love hate me to the floor
I see you as you are and know
This is the last time
I don’t care what you know or think
I have found my strength in falling

I stand up slow wincingly
You’ve left the room certain I’ve learned my lessons well
You have no idea how right you are
You have no idea you’re about to die
I have no idea what killing is like
But I’ll learn.

Insomnia Poetica (Villanelle)

I will not sleep for sleeping makes me slow.

There is no peace for those who are inclined.
I will not rest until I’m sent below.

When silence comes, than happily I’ll go,
To dream upon a bed of sweet design.
I will not rest until I’m sent below.

Until that time I’ll work at what I know,
And fill my life with joy and grief combined.
I will not sleep for sleeping makes me slow.

You may think I want a fatal blow,
That I can’t wait to give up my lifeline.
But I’ll not rest until I’m sent below.

Tomorrow is the hope of friend and foe,
Though guarantees of it are not assigned
I will not sleep for sleeping makes me slow.

I’m much stronger than you’ll ever know,
Yet I’ll surrender at the finish line.
I will not sleep for sleeping makes me slow.
I will not rest until I’m sent below.

While Minutes Die (Villanelle)

As I sit solemnly while minutes die
I have to fight to free myself from you
Through silence your voice waits for my reply

I hear you calling but I can’t comply
You loved me, loved me not, till I withdrew
Now I sit solemnly while minutes die

With nothing else to say I said goodbye
Now you expect me to come back to you
Through silence your voice waits for my reply

Each word of love a lie, a lie, a lie
I swallowed every syllable untrue
Now I sit solemnly while minutes die

My longing tick tocks fantasies where I
Can trust my heart to tell me what to do
Through silence your voice waits for my reply

Conjoined heartbreak distant and nearby
You want my love to come to your rescue
As I sit solemnly while minutes die
Through silence your voice waits for my reply.

Death of Sardanapalus

La mort de Sardanapalus by Eugene Delacroix

Indulgent King, seeker of pleasure
Presiding over another night’s sport
Watches passively impassive
All the delectable devastations writhe and whinny
Lamentations, death screams, amid gurgles, last breaths
What he loved best and collected as treasure
Horses and concubines – in that order
Unbound sumptuousness, heady ecstasy
Completing his dominion of flesh and fleshly inclinations
With one word to ruin them all in an orgy of blood
By the hands of obedient slaves
Soon to join the squirming pile
Along with their King in funereal fire.

War lost, all lost, culminating in this moment
Extravagances former sweetness
Smothered and smoldering with gory finality
The riches of Nineveh and Assyria lost forever
Anguished bone fragments revived by Byron’s pen and Delacroix’s brush
Recreated in wax at Ripley’s Wax Museum in Time’s Square.

I saw it as a child not knowing the story
Not caring what the truth was
As I stood transfixed and horrified at the sight
Of brutalized women and horses – in that order
While a man watched as lives were ripped away from them
Without a hint of humanity
Or remorse.
I knew this man and his awful gaze
How he created home grown atrocities
Dripping from drunken lips and
Steel mill burnt roughened hands that wrenched
Childhood from its core
I stumbled like a brutalized beast
Resilient as dried blood
My King, Father did not join me in burning embers
Though he burnt in personal hells and damnations
I climbed free over my own broken bones.

I kept coming back to those awful waxed figures
No matter how many times my mother tried to force me away
I knew the scene too well
To leave them
Just yet.
Like Alice through the looking glass
I recognized myself staring back through waxen orbs
Knife blade through childhood’s chest
Except there would be no painting or poem
To bring back what was lost from the ashes
To immortalize the one who survived
Kingly decrees and orders
Me.

The Smoke Stack

Coughing up thick black smoke
The stuff he'd inhaled
Now returning in puffs
Graying the world around him
So accustomed to his ebony breath
He didn't understand why some were angered by his air
They'd stare at him
When he coughed up stuff that smudged the walls
As if he had planned to pollute the plaster.
People pushed away from him

When they'd see him on the street.
A lifetime of grime was embedded in his skin
Which he slavishly scrubbed each day
Though freedom wasn’t forthcoming
He remained neither black or white, but
The same unnatural hue
Of skin and coal dust
From a life lived below
Bent back broken with
Ripped knee bleeding
He’d spent his life this way
For a day's wages
To support all those who were his
All day long in the hell hole
Digging coal or forging steel
He’d slaved away.
Almost thirty years of it.
A lifetime spent laboring
Had labored his lungs
Licorice strings streamed out through his nose
During the winter
While soot seeped out of his skin during the summer.
He sometimes wondered

If one day he’d turn into a billowing cloud of smoke

So that he could socialize with the surrounding sky
He'd look at the fumes pouring from chimneys
Certain that was the destiny
Of all men who did the same work as he
Then he'd return to his work
Where he’d dream smoky dreams
Made of ashes, smog and soot.

Self Portrait

My tears have dried to dust

I am abandoned desert

There are no bones left to break
Limping odd walks stumbling

Nothing but the vastness of time and years
Tombs loom beguiling stones

Of the same sameness
Blood thumping iron rust
Repeating
What my heart longs to hear

I would feel pain if I knew how
Your silence tortures me
Bereft of humanity
You hang droplets of care over parched lips

I am tired of this breath and
As chilly skin piercing winds blow knives
The next breath bound to come
Damning me to keep going
Without permission
I would stop if I knew the secret to ceasing

My will isn’t enough to make it stop
Loving too much the curse of neediness
Such strength has been reserved for other things

If only I understood the reasoning of repetitions

Lessons do not die until they’re learned
Your voice is quicksand
As enticing as a jagged glass lament
Silence is not comforting

Yet its stillness I will ponder.

Your love has been the death of me.

Cruel Traveler

I am the voice you miss in the dark
The syllables of comfort silenced
As you covered by mouth with angry hands
I am the thoughts of love squashed beneath uncaring restless feet.
March on cruel traveler
Continue to slam the once open doors of welcoming
They won’t be open to you again.
You have made it so.
You are the one who slammed them shut
Even as I, your host, tried to accommodate you
Fault finding is your art
Ingratitude the manifestation of your own want
I could give you every aspect of myself
I have given you every aspect of myself
It isn’t enough to make you who you want to be
You won’t find the cure for your inequities here
Only I am here
With my strength and solemnity
Which you and your vampire fangs can’t drink
Leech off other throats

Find sustenance from other lives

If you can

As I stand in my doorway
Defiantly refusing to move aside for you anymore
There is no place for you to rest inside my walls
You must find yourself lodging elsewhere
As you must find yourself elsewhere
Journey on alone

Without me

I tried to walk beside you
I couldn’t keep up with your needs
Now I am happily left behind
I am where I want to be
I hope you find your resting place
Even if it isn’t with me

March on.

Queen Tease (Naga Uta)

Lips that drip with lies

Deadened heart erotica

Love is just a ploy.

Her explicit poverty

Reads through every line

Using sex to lure men in

Then throw them away.

Older than her avatar

Just another lie.

Wounded heart of bitter stone

Punishing all men

For the ones who’ve brutalized

Her with molten hands.

Romance is the web she weaves

Wounded broken soul.

Painful past is no excuse

For such treachery.

“You’re the only one I’ve loved”

That’s her favorite lie.

Look here comes another man!

One more heart to break.

Hurting them she hurts herself

Reaping what she sows.

Loneliness is her reward

As she types false words of love.

Long Before Bells

Ravings and rampaging and screaming and tears

Arguing and maligning and silences and bells

All part of the swell of the throb in my brain

All part of the pain

All part of the pain

You want me to share.

You want me to tell.

You want me to trust,

Without fear

Without fear

But oh my kind dear

I just don't know how.

I just don't know how.

I'm so full of ringing doubts

That cling

Like a spot

Like a spot

Like a spot

That can't be scoured out

Of the whitest white sheet

Where hell and I meet

And have met long before.

You want me to share.

You want me to tell.

You want me to trust.

Without fear

Without fear

But oh my sweet dear

I just don't know how.

I just don't know how

So I leave and I bow

My head and my heart

So sure that you're tired of my hell and my fear

Yet oh my good dear,

I could love you so well,

If not for my fear,

If not for my hell,

If not for my doubts,

And my stained pure white sheet

Where hell and I meet

And have met long before.

Long before bells and long before tears

Long before living in this atmosphere

Long before I began to beg and implore

And long before spots

That can't be scoured out

Of the purest white sheet

Where hell and I meet

And I have met long before.

Woman by Fire

I wake before dawn
Hunters leave in search of food
Gentle noses touch

It is in these moments when the earth is still
And the children asleep
That I sit
Alone
But not alone
With my thoughts
By warm gleaming light

Mother’s lullaby
Rest my little young ones, rest
I am by your side

There is nothing I would rather do
Beyond this moment and this time
Than this

During the day I work tirelessly
Tidying our lodge
Making sure the pelts hold against the wind
Keeping the fire pit burning
Hanging corn to dry
So that I can make corn soup
Along with whatever game the men provide

In this home of hides
Pine tree bark and buffalo
Nature’s sacrifice

The snow falls silently outside
I can hear the crunch of animal’s making footprints
As they go from tree to tree
Eating bark or whatever they can find

Lonely hooting owl
Hoof beats echo in the night
Howling wolves nearby

I am silent too
As I stir my cooking pot
Where thoughts and food combine
Into humble stew
The succulence will sustain
Me and mine
Until daylight
Brings the men home with their early morning hunt
And the children gentle themselves awake
As I continue to stir
Feeding myself
With dreams I only share in silence
Feeding my family
With the food that I prepare
Feeding all
From my body
That has given life
That sustains
As winter winds blow
Outside and away
From my gentle fire

Sparks of red shadow
Warriors dancing crackle wood
My heart is a drum

28 Days

"Female problems," that's what we say
When we're trying to be polite
When we don't want to talk
About that part of us which makes us unique
Which makes us whole and holy
Givers of life,
Givers of pleasure,
And hopefully receivers.

If I was completely honest,
And gave you more than a euphemistic answer,
Would you think I was crass,
Impolite
Un-whole and unholy,
Wanton and rough,
Lacking in couth,
Raised without manners,
Crude?

Am I supposed to be ashamed of my body, and its functions?
Must I hide like women of long ago who sat in huts, and bled,
Ashamed of themselves for bleeding
When bleeding is what they were meant to?
Decreed by nature
Whole and holy
"That time of the month,"
"On the rag,"
"Ridin' a white horse with a red saddle,"
"On my period,"
Menstruation.

The big mystery,
The mother of mothers,
And fathers too
The curse we are cursed with
Unless she's late,
And are glad to see go
When she's overstayed her welcome
Pads or plugs?
Stains in our clothes,
The great surges when we sneeze,
Or stand up from a chair when we've been sitting too long
Blood clots and cramps so bad
That you can't stand up straight
Lightheadedness, fatigue, bloating
Excessive blood flow,
Fibroid tumors,
Cancer,
D&Cs and hysterectomies
Menopause.

A lifetime written in blood
Ordained by the lunar pull on the tides,
Whole and holy,
Inevitable,
No big deal,
Happens to us all
Then ceases,
As the next chapter of our lives begins
Givers of life,
Givers of pleasure,
And hopefully receivers.

La Pitié de la Pluie Seul N'avait Pas Séché - The mercy of the rain hadn't dried alone

The mercy of the rain hadn’t dried alone
Since pummeling angrily glistening bone
Till sun warmth then night cries erased sacred gloom
Ceasing heavenly laments soft rumbles die
As clouds shift and wander the darkening sky

Scorch cracked Earthen Mother unable to feed
Bare dirt clot nipples give no comfort from need
As thirsting starvation howls arid decay
Ground down with despair desolate peridot
As silent screams beckon a circling crow

Then droplets of blessings like manna profound
Fell unable to saturate hard-cracked ground
Till drinking her fill and then drinking again
Sated, renewed glistening grass softly moans
The mercy of the rain hadn’t dried alone

Winter Spectacle Divine (Naga Uta)

Snow falls silently

Confectioner sugar sweet
Sky white earth white brrrr!
Weighted branches bowing low
Winter courtesy
Etiquette of frozen leaves
Spring warmth makes them rude
Deer come I watch hush!
Crunching footsteps silent stop
Antlers drumbeat trees
Diamond sparkle sunlit morn
Virgin glistening bed
Whitetail deer and squirrel tracks
Leave odd trails behind
Crows and ravens caw and play
Bird’s make angel’s too
Puffs of icy air breathe out
Icy air breathe in
Frosted spider webs sparkle
Arctic artistry
Winds that howl a mournful cry
Shivering the trees
My heart stirs in wonderment
Winter spectacle divine

Know Who You Are

K nife edge dripping truth

N othing hidden but tomorrow

O nly death will silence me

W atch me fly, then soar

W arring, raging fire

H owling poetry and verse

O bstacles stampede

Y esterday is dead

O penhearted conqueror

U nveil and be free

A xe blade sharpening

R hyme and word play weaponry

E agerly I write

I

Am the embodiment of ages past

The culmination of dreams spent and miscarried

The baby bred to fix the unfixable

Of a union which should not have been joined

His fourth

Her first

The last who will carry his name

The first to carry her own

I

Am my parent’s child

I

Am a survivor of homemade holocausts

The child who refused to be broken

But was

Who rose from the floor

Bloody and silent

Limping and hollow

With hard swollen eyes

I

Am made of shattered glass and stone

I

Am a woman of steel-born sweetness

Hammering white hot troubles flat

Shedding cooling red tears comforting

A sojourning soldier drenched in crystalline sweat

Exsanguinations of heart’s blood pen and ink

Sacrificing self for selflessness

Drink my poetry in like fire

I

Am a Warrior of Words and sighs

I

Am a once silenced voice now speaking

A fortress of once forgotten bones

Newly discovered pearls

Richly strewn around my own throat

Giving you my life from the inside out

Revealing my soul without shame

I

Am a Mighty Queen tall and proud

I

Am the dreamer and the dream

Standing on the shoulders of my Ancestors

The former Slave and the displaced Native

Whose blood saturates the earth

Like rain

So that I could stand

Unbeaten and unbound

I

Am Rachel Blackbirdsong

A Black Woman Talks of Birthing

I've birthed from light of day till dusk of dawn

The seeds were planted deeply held and fine
He didn’t run away, just simply gone
The gifts he left are beautiful and fine.

Between my thighs a rampant earthen stream
Of bloody water's rush and agony
One final push and one horrific scream
That freed them from their home inside of me.

My breasts are bountiful and nourishing
My children feast on bitter fruit and pain
No solace can I give, no comfort bring
I've brought them to a world of grief and shame.

I'll work until I die to give them all
Of what I can provide of sustenance
Though sometimes I may stumble, I may fall
The lives I've birthed will conquer circumstance.

Blackbirdsong (Acrostic Naga Uta)

B efore I was born
L ightning, thunder harkened me
A s the mountains roared
C ooing symphonies of song
K issed with autumn’s breath
B lessed by Blackbird Messenger’s
I ridescent eyes
R aven smiles as nevermore
D reams die unfulfilled
S ultry words are whispered sweet
O palescent hope
N ame was given by the earth
G ather round this cawing crow

For All My Brothers and Sisters

To all my brothers and sisters, mothers and fathers, I say, “thank you.”

To the mighty Kings of Africa for your dignity, strength, courage and wisdom, to govern a great land, to bring forth from the beginnings of history a people who despite everything remain mighty, remembering the glory of Warrior Kings like Hannibal, riding through the alps on elephants, remembering the military innovations of Shaka Zulu, uniting his people to fight against colonialism, remembering the vast vistas of the homeland we were stolen from, we, who are your children from generation to generation, I say, “thank you.”

To the slave who was beaten, raped, ripped from the arms of family never to see them again, so down trodden that even the glimmer of the idea of freedom was beyond them, knowing what perseverance meant even though it was against the law to be taught to read or write, escaping North to freedom and finding that freedom had a price, staying South birthing children to slavery, outliving slavery’s chains and doing it all with dignity, strength, courage and wisdom, I say, “thank you.”

To the freeman who was displaced, hung from trees, set on fire, raped, refused the right to vote, the right to justice, the right to drink water from the same fountain as any another man, or use a gas station rest room, the right to a decent job, a decent wage, a decent home, the right to govern his own life and the life of his family, the right to consider himself a man, equal to any man, withstanding the KKK and their burning crosses and threats every time he dared to succeed, enduring every hateful word and fist with dignity, strength, courage and wisdom, I say, “thank you.”

You are the building blocks on which we stand and I say, “thank you.”
Thank you and bless you for the blood which flows through my veins.
Your blood; the blood of survivors, strivers and believers of dreams
Thank you and bless you for teaching me that there is nothing that I cannot and will not survive.

To all my brothers and sisters, mothers and fathers, I say, “thank you.”

To the older men and women who were the first of their generation to have children who graduated from high schools and colleges, while working menial jobs as maids, janitors and chauffeurs, though they had the skills and intelligence to be so much more, but were denied it on the basis of their skin color. These looked to the future from the floors that they scrubbed on their knees or from the front seats of cars they wouldn’t be allowed to own and dreamed dreams that only a few short generations past were impossible. To these I say, “thank you.”

To the men and women who were the first of their generation to be allowed the freedoms which others fought and died for; becoming lawyers, doctors, professors, writers, artists, musicians, giving the world light out of darkness, dreaming dreams and dying for them, advising presidents, becoming generals, world leaders, innovators in science, medicine and technology, running businesses and knocking down doors which had been shut to them for generations, yet who never forgot where they came from, I say, “thank you.”

To the young men and women who are the future dreamers of dreams, remember those who came before you, there are many lessons to be learned from the past, it isn’t dry history, it is the heart’s blood of your family and mine. Find new ways to give those Old Ones reasons to be proud of their struggles. Remember that you are Men and Women descended from greatness. The greatness of a mighty people who survived the atrocity of slavery for over four hundred years and came out of it powerful, unstoppable and strong. I say, “thank you,” in advance.

You will achieve greatness.

Because you are the future and the future is a boundless, colossal thing.

Embrace it young men and young women. Embrace it with the dignity, strength, courage and wisdom of past generations. Know that the same blood flows through you as through those great ones and learn from them.

You will survive anything.

The ignorance of those who hate you, the ignorance of those who think they can define you, the ignorance of those who feel it is their place to tell you what rights you have to think and feel and live as you wish to.

You will rise above them, because you will rise above anything.
I say, ‘thank you,” now because
I may not be there to see all that you will do, but
I know that you will be wondrous.

To all generations
from the past to the present and beyond,
I say, “thank you.”
Thank you for all you were, all you are and for all you are yet to be.

Amen.

Integrated Child (Senryu, Naga Uta combo)

True love breaks all bounds
Defying all convention
Love grows fearlessly

You were born from love
At the end of summer’s life
Heart songs were your cries
Bringing autumn’s colored bough
The earth called your name

Integrated Child
Welcome and unwelcome life
Hatred blooms and coos

Some will call you “mixed.”
Some will call you other names
You define yourself.

Stand straight and grow strong
Life is not an easy road
Make this path your own.
Keep walking though you stumble
Journey child, grow strong!
Get up when they knock you down
With words, hands and fists
Rocks and pebbles can be kicked
Hateful words can die.
Journey child and never stop
Learn these lessons from old bones.

Dream of Ancient Turtles (Pantoum)

I cannot pause for thinking bars my way

Back to shadows where lonely paths have crossed
Is this the time when I am free to roam
This vast terrain of possibilities?

Back to shadows where lonely paths have crossed
Where waking is the enemy of hope
The vast terrain of possibilities
Such sweetness lingers poisoning each day

Where waking is the enemy of hope
This consciousness a loathsome wanton fog
Such sweetness lingers poisoning each day
I walk on ground where others walked alone

This consciousness a loathsome wanton fog
I have returned to ancient peacefulness
I walk on ground where others walked alone
We join our hands and circle once again

I have returned to ancient peacefulness
With Old Ones I'm reborn and freely breathe
We join our hands and circle once again
The former things I lost return to me

With Old Ones I'm reborn and freely breathe
An ancient Turtle guides me home again
The former things I lost return to me
My heart is sure beneath this harvest moon

An ancient Turtle guides me home again
Into a glade of roving shell and bone
My heart is sure beneath this harvest moon
I do not fear returning to the dawn

Into a glade of roving shell and bone
Where every step I take is treacherous
I do not fear returning to the dawn
As Turtle guides me gently to myself

Where every step I took was treacherous
I now can pause for nothing bars the way
As Turtle guides me gently to myself
Now is the time when I am free to roam.

Waterloo (Alphabet)

Another day surrenders its dreams, and awakens
Beckoning hope for some, and despair for the rest.
Cars motor past with their bleary-eyed drivers
Dispersing the calm and quiet of morn
Energy rises with each sip of coffee, while
Feline ghosts sit supremely, and stare
Gentle caresses can't calm the forgotten, since
Hindsight teaches but can't satisfy
Innocent hearts that are battered and bruised by
Jarring realities encountered too soon, which were
Kept cunningly veiled till the compulsory gloom
Language evolves from worldly wisdom
Maturity trounces a childish tongue
Never to utter what's harbored beneath, the
Opalescent shadow that glimmers, then fades, with the
Passing of seasons; great circles of time, which
Quietly peal this inevitable end.
Revelations come, surpassing the hours
Spent dreaming of what is forgotten and foul.
Tomorrow we'll plan to have something accomplished,
Until then, just sit and drink in the doom
Vanquishing substance with each soundless swallow
While realizing that Waterloo isn't only in books
Xysters do more than scrape away bone; confessing the truth
Yesterday denies. It's there they say, if you want it
Zealously lurking; beckoning from another blistering sky.

Metropolis (Syllabic)

Dead fish floating poison shoreline
Swirling foulness rainbow water
Gaseous clouds each murky morning
Pavement garbage covered walking
Old food new food vomit urine
Seeping sewage children playing
Gun shots blood clots dead dog stiffens
Laughter screaming eerie silence
Car doors slamming angry rhythm
Homeless drunkard defecating
Overgrown weeds desolation
Moonrise sunrise vermin blossoms
Open sores used condoms tampons
Reeking wilting rancid fragrance
Subways harvest loathsome lovers
Advertisements painted smiling
Floating fixtures shadows dancing
Clinging writhing moldy craving
Putrid zephyr noxious blowing

Breathe in breathe out coughing choking
Journeys ending Journeys dying
Beneath above metropolis

Manifesto (Villanelle)

We can’t be defeated so why the surprise?
Surely you’ve learned that we’ll never give in.
Nothing’s as strong as a woman who's wise.

We’re ready at sunset and also sunrise
With each day that comes we’ll be ready again
We can’t be defeated so why the surprise?

We’ve been battered by words, and beaten by lies.
Say what you will cuz we all have thick skin.
Nothing’s as strong as a woman who's wise.

The voices you hear are our battle cries,
So you want to play? Well we play to win.
We can’t be defeated, so why the surprise?

Now you’re the one who’s been cut down to size
You’ve lost and you know it, to your chagrin.
Nothing’s as strong as a woman who's wise.

We’re our own heroes and our own prize.
We’ll rescue ourselves each time you begin.
We can’t be defeated, so why the surprise?
Nothing’s as strong as a woman who's wise.

Much Stronger Than Thunder (Pantoum)

Since I am much stronger than thunder

My heart rages endlessly burning

As lightning bolts shatter the distance

Some fires can be quelled without dying.

You soothe me with barely a whisper

Your eyes, like a lion’s, entice me

Stirring, igniting past dreaming

One word and I’m shivering, hungry.

Your eyes, like a lion’s, entice me

Beyond all the stillness of mourning

One word and I’m shivering, hungry

There is nothing to do but surrender.

Beyond all the stillness of mourning

Were memories clouding my vision,

There is nothing to do but surrender

Though in truth I am stronger beside you.

Were memories clouding my vision?

I was blind to the fact that you loved me

Though in truth I am stronger beside you

I am born and reborn as you hold me.

I was blind to the fact that you loved me

Your heart reached to mine and I answered

I am born and reborn as you hold me

Your hand holding mine is a blessing.

Your heart reached to mine and I answered

I am born and reborn in embracing

Your hand holding mine is a blessing

As we walk through storm clouds together.

The past disappears into nothing.

While lightning bolts shatter the distance

As we walk through storm clouds together

For we are much stronger than thunder.

Blackbird Messenger

What you believe.

Judgmental lapse

That proved quite fortuitous

Barter land for beads.

What we believe.

Sitting Bull spoke truth

“Earth cannot belong to man,

Man belongs to earth.”

Grass Dancer

I see the prairie grasses blowing in the wind. Oceans of green weave and wave before me, oceans of green coil and curl before me. My eyes are surprised at the visions before them. My eyes are surprised at the beauty before them. I see the prairie grasses blowing in the wind.

Prairie grasses blow

Seasons drift from year to year

Time does not stand still.

Sunrise breathe sunset
Quickly watch as life floats by
Prairie grasses blow.

The sun stares down at me and warms my soul. The sun stares down at me and comforts my heart. Its heat is like my mother's arms around me. Its brightness is like my father's smile upon me. My eyes are surprised at the visions before them. My eyes are surprised at the beauty before them. I see the prairie grasses blowing in the wind.

Thunder and Lightning

Pow wow dancers dance

Drum beats heart beats all as one

Thundering the earth.

Bare feet blessings beat
Budding blossoms billowing
Breathlessly beseech
Bouncing bodies bounteous
Beautiful, beyond belief

All who dance are one
Voices crying echoing
Lightning flashes forth

Crow song

Blackbird messenger
You who come at break of day
Calling out my name

La Gioconda (Diamonte)

Portrait

Mysterious Beauty

Haunting Daring Smiling

Landscape Shadows Substance Heartbeat

Bleeding Birthing Dying

Masterfully Glorious

Woman

La Solitude Pas Surrender - Solitude Won’t Surrender (Villanelle)

How dare I speak to those who will not hear?
As threats and angry words come at me still
I stand alone triumphant and sincere.

Their hatred clouds a peaceful atmosphere
Yet reasonable words cannot distill
How dare I speak to those who will not hear?

I live with hope and yet it fades, I fear.
Yet still I dream that they’ll forget ill will
I stand alone triumphant and sincere

Some warn me that it’s wiser to stand clear
Of those whose hate will never have its fill
How dare I speak to those who will not hear?

Perhaps they think that I will disappear
But doing so would be a bitter pill
I stand alone triumphant and sincere

Through such hate I’ve learned to persevere
And yet remain with all of my good will
How dare I speak to those who will not hear?
I stand alone triumphant and sincere

Mes égouttements de stylo avec le sang (My Pen Drips with Blood)

Here I am
At that place where words and thoughts combine
To become one upon an empty page
Or simply within my brain
How brazen and bold they are
How forceful and sublime they are.
The perfection of paragraphs and punctuation
All weaving and melding
Quivering with power
How divine they are
Rhythmic
The words of kings and of commoners
The thoughts of the mad as well as the wise
Conjoined
Uncompromised
Floating on a breeze
Remembered in the mind of forgotten journeymen
Old conversations linger like cats hiding from the rain
Waiting to pounce
Returning to some dark and forgotten place
Where they were warm or well-fed
Are given time and ease
How cunning they are

Crafty
Your voice is like honeyed bread to me
Your words
Like manna
How desperate and needy
I am for the sound of you
The pleasure of your words upon mine
The way they mingle and intertwine like lovers.
How precious they are
Beloved
How I long for your voice in my ear
The way it tears me away from myself
Makes me more than me
I am your page
Write upon me
Fill me with thoughts
Cover me
Watch me become my better self
Read me
Become intoxicated
For that is what I've become with you.

For My Grandfather

His face has more cracks and lines in it
Than the hard and forgotten dirt
Of the same lonely road he's traveled for years
He shuffles his feet because he's grown old
But my grandfather is a warrior

Still fighting,

Still fighting.


He carries an old pail to draw water from the pump
It is almost too heavy for him to lift
His body is tired
And his eyes are dim
But my grandfather is a warrior

Still fighting

Still fighting.


His hair is white
And his skin is brown
From too many days
In the morning sun
But my grandfather is a warrior,

Still fighting,

Still fighting.


His hands are twisted from trouble
And times of hatred
And pain
And though his back is bent
It is not bent from shame
Because my grandfather is a warrior

Still fighting

Still fighting.

Mermaid's Wish

I fall into cascading depths of blue
Warm water is a cushion for my skin
I weave and spin – a beautiful corkscrew
Then break the waves - a newly born dolphin

The ocean calms my spirit through and through
I surge through breaks and tides then back again
Returning to the innocence I knew
Forfeiting human bonds and discipline

There is no end to possibility
When summer dreams are born with each new dawn
While swimming towards your heart’s tranquility
This mermaid’s wish is no phenomenon

This freedom is a thing I’ve never known
As I forsake the world of flesh and bone.

Pourtant j'attends (Nonet)

I was waiting for your gentle kiss
Sunlit fingers caress my skin
Ticking clock body aches. Oh!
Moans sighs remembering
Yesterday’s sweetness
A note arrives
“Il est mort”
Yet I
Wait.

Growing Pains (Pantoum)

Daddy threw me down the stairs today.
I didn't know childhood wasn't supposed to hurt.
There's no reason why it happened, but it did.
Chronic pain, the gift of yesterday.

I didn't know childhood wasn't supposed to hurt.
They said my pain was cuz I was growing bigger now.
Chronic pain, the gift of yesterday
"Quit pretending, it's all inside your head!"

They said my pain was cuz I was growing bigger now.
I limped and fell for weeks, and then I stopped.
"Quit pretending, it's all inside your head!"
My body found a way to heal itself.

I limped and fell for weeks, and then I stopped.
I've learned to live with pain since I was small.
My body found a way to heal itself.
My mind concealed the hell I couldn't face.

I've learned to live with pain since I was small.
While thinking this was how life was meant to be.
My mind concealed the hell I couldn't face
Until I faced the truth and found my voice.

While thinking this was how life was meant to be,
I never dreamt my friends weren't bruised like me
Until I faced the truth and found my voice.
The lives they lived were free of pounding hands.

I never dreamt my friends weren't bruised like me.
I thought they kept them hidden beneath their clothes
The lives they lived were free of pounding hands
Or the need to hide the scars because of shame.

I thought they kept them hidden beneath their clothes
Long-sleeved shirts were worn in summertime.
The need to hide the scars because of shame
Which was something foreign to everyone, but me.

Long-sleeved shirts were worn in summertime.
Concealing everything, a childhood game.
Which was something foreign to everyone, but me.
I didn't have the voice but now I do.


Concealing everything, a childhood game.
I don't know why it happened, but it did.
I didn't have the voice but now I do.
Daddy threw me down the stairs today.

Blood Stained Cigarette

There’s something wonderful

About the fierceness of her
Living between shadows and glances
Peering at you from the universe beyond dark circles
And hollowed-out eyes
Daring you to match her stare
Waiting for you to look away
As so many others have before
She’s slipped through enough cracks from childhood on
To break the backs of many generations of mothers
But she’s still here
And always will be.

She lives in many faces

Fierce and intelligent
Belligerent, yet kind
There is so much more brimming inside her
So much that she could tell
But not yet
Maybe, not even ever
To her, vulnerability is worse than a slap
More obscene than rape
Along with all the things she’s been molded
And toughened by

Brick

Built

Upon brick,
With all the skill of a master-craftsman.

She
Along with those who gave her gifts best never received
Constructed a keep
Where she lives flagrantly concealed
Rarely looking out
Or in
Breathing diseased memories
Through her nostrils
Like fire.


She exists from day-to-day


Yet, something more is there
A child
The one who died the day she was born
The one who will not let her go
Not let her grow
Beyond devastation.


Her eyes tell you the truths

That her lips cannot.

She smiles

Knowing you’ve peeked through a crack in her foundation
But before the next blink
She’ll have applied enough mortar
So that you’ll never see her again

Then she’ll sit back


Seemingly relaxed
Yet inwardly terrified
That you’ll be able to see her again,
So she crosses her legs
and takes a
Good

Long

Drag

From her blood-stained cigarette.

Lamentations

Monuments don’t weep
Clinging to cold stone. Mourning
Does not die ever.

You did not wait for me, but journeyed beyond breathing. I am left alone broken. Unable to function. Unable to move. I shaved off my hair and burnt it in your funeral pyre. I cut my skin and gave you heart’s blood.

Caressing chilled cheek
Crying carves cruel creases. Calm
Collapses calling.

My skin burns as desert winds blow onto salt-stained lines. I scream your name into the distance, but you do not answer. Tomorrow I will walk into the horizon until I find you. Tomorrow I will rest in your arms.

Bereavement lingers
Myriads of emotions
Howl through her aching

Blankly staring out
Waiting for silent signals
Unseen sounds startle
Out of this vastness nothing
Desolation destroys her.