Safety First

"Hey!" said Mrs. Johnston, "You could've turned!"

"Just a minute," said Mr. Johnston, his hands grasping the wheel of their Benz like his life depended on it.

Mrs. Johnston eyed the approaching traffic, waiting for her husband to make the turn out of their driveway. "There, right after that red car!"

"No, I can see another car coming after it."

"But you've got enough time, that other car is a good distance away!"

"Yes, but it's still there."

The red car passed by. "Now's your chance!"

"I can't. That other car, it's coming closer."

"But its four blocks down the road!" she said, accentuating every syllable with her arms.

"Now it's three. Then two and soon it will be right here in front of us."

She tried to frown, but Botox prevented her. So, she blinked her eyes while pounding her fists on her thighs.

"I'm just trying to be a safe driver."

"But what's unsafe about making a turn when there's a break in traffic?"

"Anything could happen."

The car in question chugged by.

"That car could've lost its brakes and come barreling right for us. We could have been in a terrible accident. We could have been killed."

"But it didn't lose its brakes!" she said, ripping her fingers through her coif and massacring every curl.

"Well, it could have."

"Are you out of your mind?" she said, decorating the windshield with missiles of spit.

"No, it's just that safety reigns supreme when I drive this automobile."

"You're making us late for our dinner with the Millers!"

"Well, we certainly wouldn't make that dinner if we were dead, now would we?"

Tears plunged down her face, turning her mascara into long black snakes racing towards her chin.

"Charles."

"Yes?"

"The street is completely empty now. There are no cars coming towards us from either direction. Turn."

"I can't."

"Why not!" she said, grabbing his arm and shaking it.

"Because sooner or later, another car will come."

"Well of course another car will come! It's not like we have the only one on the road."

"That's right, and I don't know if the drivers of any of them have been drinking or taking drugs or anything else I don't have any control of. This is the safest way. We have to stay here. We have to wait."

"Wait for what?" she said, screeching so loudly that dogs began barking.

"The right moment when it will be safe to turn,” he said calmly patting her hand. "Now I know you're worried about our evening out. You have spent half the day getting ready for it. But, I'm sure the Millers will understand us being a little late."

"A little late?" she said, her voice a menacing snarl. "Do you realize that we would be there right now, but because of this bizarre notion of yours, we're still in our driveway?"

"Well, you could always go inside and call a cab."

"I'll do no such thing! It wouldn't look right if I did that while were you here. The neighbors would think we're quarreling."

"Then wait for the bus,” he said smiling already sure of her answer.

"Not in this outfit I won't! I look too good to be on the bus. Every derelict in the world would be asking me for change. Then I'd have to walk, and these shoes aren't comfortable for anything but sitting. Besides, I refuse to arrive alone. Appearance, Charles. Appearances."

"Then sit back and relax."

"Relax?"

"Be patient. I'll know when the moment comes."

"Well, when will that be?"

"I don't know, but at least we'll be safe. Isn't that what counts in the end?”

“I’m going inside to call the Millers,” she said.

“No, I think you’ll be safer here where I can keep an eye on you,” he said locking her door with the driver’s side lock.”

“Charles!" she said frantically trying to open her door.

“You’ll be safer this way and that’s what counts.”

“But Charles, just a minute ago you told me to go inside and call a cab…”

“I changed my mind.”

“No Charles, you’ve lost it.”

“Actually Evelyn, I think I finally found it.”

“But what happens if…”

“Hush, now dear….there’s nothing to worry about…,” he said patting her hand again.

So, they sat there until the windows of the car fogged up and everything around them turned into mist, as they waited for the time to come when everything was safe enough for them to journey down the road before them.