
Some people swore that the house was haunted. But the sounds coming from within were not the voices of those afflicted by the torments of the afterlife nor were they the voices of those afflicted by the torments of their current lives. The house itself sighed during the darker moments of the day from the weight of age and old memories.
Built in 1899, it had seen and been home to many people, but until the day that she had come with her husband, a dentist, it hadn’t known joy. From the moment her foot touched the bottom step to its front porch, they had fallen in love. She, with its ornamental caramel-colored hand carved wood features and it with every aspect of her. From then on she spent hours decorating its walls and sweeping its floors, while it watched her every move, intoxicated by whiffs of her strawberry-scented perfume.
They had built a happy life together and for the first time since its construction, the house felt it had finally found its reason for being. Before then it endured years of being repeatedly inhabited and abandoned like a great wooden whore, until it learned to close itself off from each new invader becoming a hollow shell. Now she was there and it felt reborn as if it had just received its first fresh coat of paint.
However, sometimes the husband would take her away for as long as week to a place called “Florida” leaving it standing alone in the winter cold, howling out its sorrow. When she would return, and run up its walk with her arms full of souvenirs exclaiming, “It’s so good to be home,” the house would settle and sigh in satisfaction. They lived this way for years and the house came to accept these yearly “vacations,” mourning her loss and trumpeting her return. One year the husband suggested that they move to accommodate his growing practice, but happily the wife refused to be wrestled from her home, and it was decided that he commute instead and come home on the weekends when necessary.
The house began to hate the husband after that, and only tolerated his presence for her sake. When he eventually died, the house—indifferent to the dead man—overjoyed that she was finally exclusively its own, concocted ways to keep her content such as baiting her to follow the sounds of a rattling window or a thump in the attic. However, her grief lasted for some time, so it collected each of her teardrops that trickled to the floor as treasures.
Time passed and they grew old together spending hours quietly listening to musical recordings on the Victrola until the morning she didn’t wake up and everything from the root cellar to the rooftop died. After trying to clamp its doors shut and having them forced open, the house stood agape and alone when they’d taken her body away.
Others had come and gone since then. They called themselves “families,” but the house never accepted them and moaned its implicit discontent to each new resident. Now its new “family” left shards of broken glass on its floors amid the sounds of screams and sirens. Its only joy came from revisiting its former happiness and the woman it had loved. But she was forever removed from it and there was nothing to wait for except the inevitability of its own destruction. It revisited their last happy day together and the way the sun had caused her silver hair to shine. Nothing was ever the same again after that.







Lovely. Just lovely. My sympathies are with the house. Clear, smart without being just clever, organic feel throughout. Best success with the contest Rachel.
ReplyDeleteThank you Mike! I had a lot of fun writing this. It's actually based on a real house. The title is the address of my grandmother's old house that was torn down shortly after she died.
ReplyDeleteI liked the history lesson of the potentially haunted abode. You're entering the NPR contest, too? Good luck, Rachel!
ReplyDeleteThank you John, yes I thought it might be fun to enter this contest. I haven't done a contest in a long time.
ReplyDeleteI love this story! People forget that houses have their own personalities separate from those who've lived in them.
ReplyDeleteThank you. I find it a fun challenge to sometimes write from the point of view of inanimate objects. Glad you liked it.
ReplyDeleteAs I entered into this story I thought I was in for a treat of hauntings and/or ghost. Instead I'm the one whom was left haunted by your heartfelt words, Rach!
ReplyDeleteThe house is simply a lonely old soul, longing to be loved, and adored. And it finds that perfect love... and baskes within its joys and wonders, until finally, time sneaks up and robs every good think away. Kind of like what life does to all of us, everyday. 'Here today, gone tomorrow.'
I really loved this piece Rachel. I was hooked as soon as my mind wandered through the door... and now, I'm also a small part of the houses long-lasting history. Alas, I don't want to ever leave.
jkb
Thank you James. I'm glad you liked my story. I revisit this old house quite a lot in my writing and it's always good to find others who love it as much as I do.
ReplyDeleteThis reminded me of The Giving Tree. Makes me want to appreciate my own house more :-) Lovely, haunted story.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your comment, Shannon. I hadn't thought about being nice to my own home, and I wrote this, but you're right. Oops. My house is smiling now, I hope.
ReplyDeleteThis might be my favorite of yours, Rach. Love, love, love every last word of it. Sweet old house.
ReplyDeleteGood luck with your contest!
Thank you Gracie. I loved that old house now. I wish they hadn't torn it down. So much for progress. I actually have a longer story about this house that I need to post. Perhaps I will someday soon.
ReplyDeleteThe title put me in mind of a haunted house, not a building of long and tragic memory. The memories that are created in a home echo and linger, and give to a place a personality. You've brought that personality to life, a sad life, and one that soon seems to be over. I wonder if the house will regret being pulled down, or if it will look forward to joining the wife.
ReplyDeleteThe poor house!
ReplyDeleteThis is a clever story, Rachel, and I enjoyed it very much. It's always nice to take a look at the world from the point-of-view of a "mere object," when that story is well thought out, as this one is.
ReplyDeleteI do have a few nitpicks, though. 1) In the second paragraph, you use the word "ornamental" twice in the same sentence; it's a bit of a trip-up while reading. 2) It doesn't seem quite right to me to have the house hate the husband and then be indifferent to him; seems to me, it would take joy in his passing. 3) The pedant in me can't help but notice and mention the use of "harkened back" in the penultimate sentence, about which see http://www.wsu.edu/~brians/errors/hearken.html.
Overall, though, I really do like it. It's got a good, consistent tone, and you capture the heartfelt (if a house can be said to have a heart) nature of the relationship. Keep up the great work!
Thank you for the comments @Diandra and Four Part Land. Thank you for the thorough feedback @Travis. I will definitely use your suggestions to help me polish my story.
ReplyDeleteI made 2 out of 3 revisions that Travis suggested. I left in the part about the house hating the man, but being indifferent to his death because I believe that if you hate someone you can be indifferent to their passing. They mean nothing to you and their death is also nothing. Thank you again Travis.
ReplyDeleteVery creative take on a haunted house Rachel. I love this line: "Before then it endured years of being repeatedly inhabited and abandoned like a great wooden whore, until it learned to close itself off from each new invader becoming a hollow shell." All of it really.
ReplyDeleteBravo!
We moved a lot when I was growing up and now too many of those houses are gone. My grandmother's house was torn down years ago, to make room for industrial plazas. I feel the ache of the house, and your reaction to the destruction of your grandmother's house, in my bones. Such a lovely, well-written story. Love that the title is an actual address that has meaning to you.
ReplyDeleteI completely enchanting tale. I have a great fondness for haunted houses, and the idea that the house itself has thoughts and feelings is brilliant. I loved this.
ReplyDeleteI'm a total sucker for haunted houses of all kinds. What a great take on an old standard.
ReplyDeleteI've read many short stories from a house POV, each one a little different, but they carry some of the same feelings. I like this one for the house's connection with a favorite resident and the descriptions of the house's emotions. Lovely.
ReplyDeleteAt first I thought this was going to be a gory take on 'The Amityville horror'
ReplyDeleteI was wrong, what I read was a beautifully written love story.
What a great take on a haunted house. Thanks.
ReplyDeletelove how you use personification here. well used literary device.
ReplyDeleteAmazing work.
ReplyDeleteI stumbled onto your blog from the Blog Farm. Glad I did too, will follow you as soon as I post this comment!
Chazz
chazzhart.blogspot.com
@Deanna, @Cathy, @Laurita, @Katherine, @David, @Stephen, @Donald, @Lionel and @Chazz, thank you so much for all the wonderful comments, and Chazz welcome to my blog. I'm always happy to have a new follower.
ReplyDeleteWhat a wonderful concept, a house in love. Beautiful.
ReplyDeleteWhat a fantastically sad story!
ReplyDeleteThans for the read :)
Sarah/Saffy
This is absolutely stunning, Rachael. I don't know what to say other than it was a beautiful piece of work, from start to finish.
ReplyDelete"it endured years of being repeatedly inhabited and abandoned like a great wooden whore"
That's inspired imagery. Best of luck!
~jon
Such a wonderful piece. I've recently taken possession of an abandoned house from 1887. I'm pretty sure it feels too.
ReplyDeleteGood luck with the contest.
Chris
Very cool story! It was a neat overview of a life.
ReplyDeleteShows you not all houses are haunted in the traditional sense. Well done, as usual. :)
ReplyDeleteOh my. What a tale told from an interesting perspective. It adds new meaning to those sighs and moans old houses make.
ReplyDeleteWhat a finely tuned imagination you have.
Well done.
My sincerest thanks to everyone who commented on my story. I was away for a bit and what a thing to come back to. Thank you again.
ReplyDelete