Sam hadn’t left his room in days. The real world and the World Wide Web had pooled into a horrific throbbing soup and there was no escape from the thrill of exploring the snap-crackle scenery of broadband land amid the thumping grunge of suicidal genius gone wrong.
There were no paparazzi at Stella’s door, but she liked to pretend they were there every time she navigated her way between rollerblading delivery boys, drunks and the rest of humanity’s carrion that littered rain-soaked Manhattan streets where bulls and bears wrestled above subway steam. She smiled at no one in particular trying to ignore the flash of non-existent light bulbs and journeyed on.
Somewhere deep in the ocean a male stingray bites the pectoral muscle of a female stingray to get her attention before inserting his two claspers into her valve. There is no love in dark waters. There is only salt, the slam of quick easy death or sex.
Between games of fantasy and war where he terrorized multitudes, caused riots and departed as a warrior king, Sam looked out of his window waiting for Stella to appear. He knew her schedule by heart, in the same that he knew every line and intricacy of his favorite retro sci-fi television show.
Stella eyed a bracelet in the window of shop she would have dared to enter if her fantasies were real, and she’d had the temerity to audition and win a televised talent show. She didn’t even sing in the shower but only silently mouthed words that no one but an audience of tile-covered eyes could hear.
Somewhere in the French Quarter, a shop sells stingray leather without awareness of the magnificence of underwater realms, and lost lovers who nibble and stab at each other before parting.
“How are you today,” says Sam, between bites of his Mars bar and a shuffle of his feet.
“I had a good day, I guess,” Stella answers, “American Idol is on tonight, do you wanna watch?”
And so it goes, while somewhere offshore a female stingray, long-abandoned by her lover gives birth to her brood and swims on.
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Excellent story. Love the mix between the characters and how they relate to the mating habits of the stingrays. Well written!
ReplyDeleteRachel, I love how you take words most of us would never imagine putting in the same sentence, and cause them to chime together to make beautiful music.
ReplyDeleteThough this is a sad story it rings true, and you show us even sad can be beautiful.
Thank you Eric and Deanna. I wasn't sure if that mix worked Eric, so that you for that comment.
ReplyDeleteDeanna, thank you appreciated the weird way that I twist words. I never know if it's going to be successful or not. I just go with my gut and see what happens.
Very interesting multi-character story told from different viewpoints that come together. like how you tied fantasy and literal elements, at least that's how I interpet each paragraph, one is the character fantasizing then the succeeding paragraph is the projection of that fantasy.
ReplyDeleteIt wasn't supposed to be a fantasy, but I guess if it works that way, that's cool too. Thank you for taking the time to comment Lionel.
ReplyDeleteTheirs is a somewhat sad love story. They seemed to be trapped in an endless cycle of daydream and boredom. Hopefully they can swim free of the mundane and burst open the unseen doors into new light.
ReplyDeleteMaybe even some enlightment shall be awaiting them once they're free of all the woes and darkness of life. Then they can see one another more clearly... and embrace those things they long to become.
Another wonderful read Rach. I really enjoyed the ending with the, soon to be mother, stingray going on with her life. Perhaps her brood shall be the change in their species. Stranger things have happened.
jkb
James, thank you so much for the wonderful comment. I had fun with this one. While I was writing it, I was doing research on stingrays and inserting bits and pieces. The people were easier. I've known people like this. Glad you enjoyed it.
ReplyDeleteI wonder, can there be love in stingray skin? In stingray leather? Maybe that hopeless romantic creature gets its half-evolved dream of romance in the shape of a jacket, draped over someone who's dreaming more fully?
ReplyDeleteThat sounds like the beginning of either another story or a philosophical discussion. Interesting idea too. Thank you as always for the comment, John.
ReplyDeleteThis left me sad. Secret lives, only secret because people aren't brave enough or care enough to explore them. Beautiful, though.
ReplyDeleteThank you Shannon, even though my story made you feel sad, that's a compliment for me, because being able to cause an emotional response means that my writing affected you. I once had a writer through my manuscript across a table because he got upset over something in my novel, "The Call," which deals with child abuse. He was mortified, but I considered it the best kind of compliment, because the scene he had read was supposed to be upsetting, so him getting upset meant that my writing had done what I wanted it to.
ReplyDeleteI like the mix between the two worlds joined by ignorance.
ReplyDeleteToo many people live like this these days. You capture the fear and apathy very eloquently, Rachel.
ReplyDeleteAnother stunning, beautiful story.
Thank you David and Gracie, for taking the time to comment on my work. Yes, very true Gracie. Sadly I've known a few people like this. They don't seem to realize that life is passing them by.
ReplyDeleteWonderful way to weave all the strands together...life isn't just an individual story, it's a tapestry of threads, and they all collide at some point. Pity that the stingrays were the only ones who seemed to really "live".
ReplyDeleteThank you for the comment Icy, yes that's the point I was trying to make. Glad it came across.
ReplyDeleteYour writing always comes over as very darkly poetic to me Rachel, I love the sentence "There is no love in dark waters.There is only salt, the slam of quick easy death or sex"
ReplyDeleteDeep.
Thank you Steve. Actually that is my favorite sentence in this too. I think that sentence is what pulled the rest of the story together for me.
ReplyDeleteInteresting mix of the unseen inner world we all carry and the unseen outside world of wildlife, commerce and geography. I hope he doesn't bite her.
ReplyDeleteTony, not in this story, but if I do a sequel perhaps. Thank you for taking the time to comment.
ReplyDeleteVery interesting story; weaving the lives of people and stingrays together is not something I would have thought of!
ReplyDeleteKari @ The Best Place By The Fire
You've captured the sense of people not really living their lives, only existing very well. I imagine things like this and more go on every day and no one talks about it. The tie in with the stingrays and how important living is to them is an excellent counterpoint. Gorgeous writing, as usual.
ReplyDeleteThank you for the comments Kari and Vandamir. To be honest the stingrays were a surprise too. I saw the word somewhere while I was putting this together and something just clicked.
ReplyDeleteNever write a comment when you have a cold.
ReplyDeleteI lost my last comment to you when I sneezed, lashing my little finger to the wrong key.
Your flash fiction breathes of bleak, evocative, haunting poetry in prose. Your blog is elegant, artistic, and beautiful -- like your way with words.
For a glimpse of the French Quarter right after Katrina painted in haunting images of the recent dead and fresh-birthed spirits, please check out my story in Erin Cole's 13 DAYS OF HORROR :
http://erincolelive.blogspot.com/2010/10/death-in-my-veins-roland-yeomans.html
Have a great, inspiring weekend, Roland
It's great to meet you Roland, and thank you for the comment. I will definitely check out your blog. Sorry about your cold.
ReplyDeleteAnother beautiful poetic piece, layered in meaning and metaphor. Nice one, Rachel.
ReplyDelete~jon
Thank you Jon.
ReplyDeleteSad, yet very haunting Rachel. Existing only.
ReplyDeleteGo read Roland. He's inspiring also.
Catch the third #fridayflash episode of my vamps, Vipunin and Cuchulain on my flashquake blog when you have time Rachel. See what you think..:)
Thank you for your comment about my story, L'Aussie. Yes, I read Roland, loved his story. I'll definitely read yours as well.
ReplyDeleteThat was really insightful and at the same time sad. An interesting mix with the lives of this couple and the stingrays.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed the line "...the rest of humanity’s carrion that littered rain-soaked Manhattan streets where bulls and bears wrestled above subway steam." Nicely told, Rachel.
Thank you Alan. It's kind of trying to evoke NYC in a short piece, but I think that line came close. Next week I think I'll write something with an octopus.
ReplyDeleteI just sit in awe at the words and how you weave them into such stark pictures.
ReplyDeleteThe line Alan mentions above also caught my ear and inner eye - sight, sound and feeling all present.
The intertwining of undersea life and the lives of Sam and Stella is masterfully done.
Thank you for the glimpse into their lives.
Thank you for those words Kevin. It really means so much.
ReplyDeleteThis story left me feeling sad, as all of the characters seem to be lacking something that would enhance their lives dramatically. I love the way you weave your characters together.
ReplyDeleteJust wow. This is the kind of stuff lit students could write criticism on. I loved the multiple p.o.v., the symbolism, the gritty reality, the intertwining of the stingray and the human characters. There's a lot of depth here, and it was a great pleasure to read.
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